So I don't know if any of you girlfriends or boyfriends relate to this, but here's how it works with us: more often than not, I know I'll like a drink if boyfriend hates it, or vice versa. I like coffee in my cream, he likes just a splash of cream and sweetener; I like framboise, he likes whiskey, etc. Take this review as an example of one of those times. The jury is hung, extremely.
Dogfish Head Festina Peche
The liquor store had a deal where you get something free if you buy a 6-pack of this...or maybe it was you'd get a bottle of this free with a 6-pack of something...something free, I don't know. So that was alluring, and then that raccoon on the bottle is just so funny. You can look into his eyes and practically hear him chattering at you. (There was a raccoon living in the dumpster at my office for a while, and he looked exactly like this guy, I know.) Chicka chicka chicka, indeed. And as we learned in my last installment, lacking any other direction, I'll usually choose the one with the cute animal on it. Just look how furry and friendly!
Appearance: Apple juice-y, with some caramel color. Caramel apple juice! Do you guys eat those caramel apple pops? I like them, but they're such a commitment...you don't eat caramels the same way you eat suckers, so how are you supposed to approach those? You can't suck on it OR chew it, but they're so tasty...and I found them in red and yellow apple flavor too! The yellow ones ACTUALLY taste like golden delicious. How often do green apple candies actually taste like granny smith apples? Rarely. So that was impressive! And the beer looks promising too. (4/5)
Smell: Not quite as peachy as the raccoon on the bottle is trying to tell me...peaches aren't usually really sour, are they? Because this smells sour. Less promising, but at this point I was still committed. (3/5)
Taste: No. Nope. I was SO startled by the flavor that I could hear my mouth rejecting me, and I started choking on it promptly, which boyfriend thought was hilarious. There's a certain kind of beer he likes because (according to him) it's sour...according to me, it tastes like puke throat. You know, after you barf and you can taste all of your recycled stomach acid and bad decisions - that is SPOT ON what this tastes like. It tastes like the morning after...like the morning after everything. Every bad choice you could make, this is the flavor you're subjected to in the morning, I'm sure. But it's DEFINITELY not the morning after peaches. No peaches were harmed. (1.75/5)
Feel: Stomach acid and regret. It's like that raccoon from the bottle is trying to claw its way through my throat to find warmth for the winter...but it's crisp and otherwise refreshing I guess. (2/5)
This Beer's Pop Culture Counterpart: The inside of Ke$ha's mouth, pre-rehab.
You would like this beer if you're my boyfriend. While I was gagging up a storm in his kitchen, he was pleasantly sipping away. And I quote, "Huh. This is pretty good!" Balance is restored in the universe, I guess.
Overall: Dat raccoon doe. (2.7/5)
The fish mitt isn't so sure.
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