SPRUCED Up for Christmas!

Hello girlfriends, and others!

Teaser, this week's blog includes TWO nondescript photos of Boyfriend.  But before I do the thing with the review, I have to tell you what happened.  I did something this week.

(Imagine suspenseful auditory tones...)

Girlfriend's Guide now has an Instagram!  Because I'm just crazy about finding more ways to communicate with my huge audience, or whoever.  So look up @girlfriends_g2b to follow me!  I've posted four things so far, half of which are already posted here.  The other half are one preview of the post you're about to read, and one behind-the-scenes beer-related picture from my life.  (I would follow it.  I mean, I do follow it.)  Soooo that was a fun sales pitch.  Here's the thing now.

Short's Brewing Company - Juicy Tree

Boyfriend returned from Thanksgiving with FOUR cool new beers and ONE cool bottle of whiskey.  I don't like the whiskey, but two things:  FIRST, on our 2nd date we went to a cool jazz club in Detroit and I ordered an old fashioned because I'd never had it before, and it sounded cool...I spent the whole night waiting for the ice to melt so I could drink it.  SECOND, I don't know why this originated, but Boyfriend makes a delicious whiskey cosmo--take your best whiskey, and mix in two packets of Crystal Light.  I think we did lemon and watermelon...or something else red and yellow.  He hasn't made that for me in a while, because it's not a good way to use expensive whiskey...or it's the best way.

But anyway, the beers!  This was one of them, and I don't think he said he thought I'd love it, but I'm pretty sure he said I'd love reviewing it, so here's hoping.  

According to the bottle, this is an experimental IPA brewed with spruce tips, cranberries, and juniper berries.  Boyfriend thought that would make it the perfect review to welcome in the Christmas season.

Appearance:  I'm really into all these bubbles, making everything all twinkly and stuff.  They make the glass look like a really excited lava lamp who's getting ready to go to a disco club. (4.5/5)

Smell:  That campsite that's always full of rowdy teens. The kind who wear those drug rugs, but who are also really in tune with nature. (3/5)

Taste:  Hot dang, it's like drinking a few of the 2/$22 three-wick candles from Bath & Body Works.  It's like when you were at recess in elementary school, and you learned about trees and maple syrup production, then you noticed sap on a tree at recess, so you licked it and it was like, the worst recess decision ever.  Halfway through the glass I thought I could power through the spruce farm molting on my tongue if I could just focus on the berry flavors.  I think the berry flavors lost that fight, and I'm pretty sure half of the glass is still sitting on Boyfriend's kitchen table several days later.
But also, because it tastes like a tree, it makes you think, "Oooh, this is so organic, I feel like I'm living off the land!  I can feel the health benefits sloshing around already!" (2/5)

You can hardly tell where the tree ends and the beer begins.

Feel:  Prickly.  (1.5/5)

You might like this beer if you're an adorable woodland creature.  Maybe a woodpecker.  Or if you're an old guy who tried to hike the Appalachian Trail, but you got lost somewhere in Vermont, and you've been living off of old moss and doe urine for the past 35 years.

This Beer's Pop Culture Counterpart:  I was thinking Ents.  But Boyfriend's idea was perfect:  those terrifying old Christmas claymation movies!  I think maybe the Snow Miser.

Overall:  At the end of the summer, we got to take a weekend in northern Michigan, which included lunch at Short's!  A power outage closed the restaurant for a day or so, but we got there just as they re-opened, and so we got to avoid the ridiculous wait!  I had ham and cinnamon mac & cheese, which I really need to make for Christmas; it was so perfect.  I'll put some pictures from the drive to and from Short's at the end of the post.

Gotta be honest, I really wasn't a fan of the overwhelming Christmas cheer singing loud for my mouth to hear...but Shorts fed me really good mac & cheese.  AND (#funfact) Short's Soft Parade was the first craft beer I've ever had, so that's good, right??  Otherwise I'd still be drinking nothing but Miller Lite and Angry Orchard. (2.75/5)

Mkay, time for vacation slides!

This is the beer flight we got from Short's!  I don't remember what they are, but I think the one second from the right is key lime pie.  And look at that pretty gradient in the row of glasses!

On the drive away, we passed through Elk Rapids and came across just about the most fricken majestic vision I've ever seen.  We rounded a corner, and the first thing we saw were five sets of huuuuge antlers.  There are elks in elk rapids!  Because I was driving, we pulled over to watch them be amazing.  This is a bad quality zoomed in photo because Boyfriend wouldn't let me get out of the car and pet it and feed it our roadtrip snacks.  Shortly after the picture, this guy galloped away, antlers blowing in the wind.  I wanna ride one.

This is where we stopped to look for petoskey stones.  There was a sand/rock-bar, so I got to take off my shoes, roll up my pants, and tread out.  Boyfriend didn't follow, because jeans are struggle-cages.  Can you see how troubled he looks?

Love,

Girlfriend